Many people have complained that Donald Trump does not provide enough detailed plans about how he will, in fact, Make America Great Again. One topic of large concern to all Americans is the creation of new, high paying jobs. We now have a group of Celebrities that are stepping forward with a way for a Trump Presidency to provide not only high paying jobs, but ones that will allow people with absolutely zero skills to become multi-millionaires.
A variety of low talent celebrities including such intellectual powerhouses as Miley Cyrus, Cher, George Lopez (I know I am stretching the definition of famous in this case), Lena Dunham and others are promising to move to Canada if Trump is elected. The only work requirements are an inflated sense of personal value, lack of shame, and willingness to whore yourself out entirely to the highest bidder. Substance abuse is preferred, but not a requirement. A recently laid off Carrier employee stated “I mean, I would prefer a job where I worked for a living and contributed something to society. The job market is tough though, and I do have a family to feed. I guess I can lower my standards and sing into an auto-tune machine if that is what I have to do to make ends meet.”
The Canadian government has been quiet in their response, but rumors are circulating that they are looking into the ability to build a border wall before the November election if polls continue their current trend showing Trump beating Clinton.
This article is intended as news satire. In reality it is unlikely that any of these affluent low lives will hold up to their promise and actually leave. Considering the average Hollywood marriage last about 15 minutes, vows and promises are obviously not of high priority there.